For friends

Resolve conflict with a close friend

Clare gives two friends a structured, private online space to work through what has become too difficult to say directly, without the conversation turning into an argument.


The friendship dynamic

Why conflict between friends is hard to resolve

Conflict carries the threat of losing the friendship

Unlike family, friendships are voluntary. That makes the stakes of raising something difficult feel much higher. If the conversation goes badly, there is no shared history or obligation holding things together. The fear of making it worse often stops people from addressing it at all.

There is no structure forcing you to keep engaging

You do not live together, work together, or share legal ties. That means when tension appears, it is easy for both people to quietly drift apart rather than address what is happening. Friendships can end not through a single argument but through accumulated avoidance.

The informality makes it hard to address things officially

There is no formal mechanism for raising an issue with a friend. You cannot call an HR meeting. You cannot write a complaint. The only option is a direct conversation, which is exactly the thing that feels too risky. Clare gives each person a structured, private way to work through what has been hard to say directly.


Common situations

When Clare can help

After a falling out

Something was said or done that changed things. Neither of you has found a way to address it properly, and the friendship has been different since.

Drifting apart after unresolved tension

There was no single argument, but something shifted and the friendship has quietly become more distant. You are both less honest with each other than you used to be.

A misunderstanding that grew

What started as a small disagreement became something bigger. Now it feels too loaded to bring up, but it is still there every time you talk.

Feeling let down or dismissed

One or both of you feels hurt or disappointed, but saying so directly has felt too risky. The longer it goes unaddressed, the harder it gets.


The approach

A space to say what has been hard to say

Clare doesn't take sides or judge the friendship. Each person talks to Clare privately, so both perspectives are fully understood on their own terms. There are no joint sessions: the goal is for each person to understand themselves and the other well enough that, when they do talk directly, the conversation has a better chance of going somewhere. The process runs entirely online, at each person's own pace.

Private individual intake

You each talk to Clare separately first. No pressure to frame things in a way the other person will accept before the conversation even starts, and no risk that your honesty becomes an immediate accusation.

Neither person is cast as the problem

Clare holds both perspectives in focus throughout. It does not decide who was right or whose behaviour caused the tension. Both accounts are taken seriously and given equal weight.

Guided, not pushed

Clare supports clarity and understanding at your pace. It will not push you toward a conclusion you are not ready for, and it will not decide what the friendship should look like going forward.


Common questions

Questions friends usually ask

How do I suggest Clare to a friend?

The main risk is that it feels like you are turning the friendship into a formal thing, which can itself feel off. Keep the framing light and human: something like 'I found something that might help us sort this out without it turning into another difficult conversation' works better than anything that sounds like a process. It helps to reassure them that it is private, low-stakes, and not therapy or a legal service. Clare hearing each person separately first also means they do not have to face you directly from the start.

On the cost: Clare is €65 for the whole process, shared between both of you. Offering to cover the full amount is a simple way to make the ask easier and signal that you are genuinely motivated to work things out.

Does Clare share what my friend told their session?

No. Every session is completely private. What you share with Clare is never shown to your friend, and vice versa. Clare does use insights from both conversations to shape how the process moves forward, but neither person ever sees the other's session.

What if only one of us wants to try Clare?

Clare requires both people to participate. One person cannot use it on behalf of the other or without them. If your friend is uncertain, that is okay as Clare can still work when one person is more hesitant than the other. But both people need to be willing to start.

What if mutual friends are involved or taking sides?

Clare works between two people at a time. It cannot directly address the wider group dynamic, but resolving the core tension between the two of you often changes how the broader situation feels. Clare is also entirely private, so nothing from the process is shared with anyone outside it.

What if I am not sure I want to save the friendship?

That is a valid place to start. Clare does not require you to be committed to a particular outcome. It helps both people understand each other better and be clearer about what they want. Sometimes that leads to repair. Sometimes it leads to a clearer, more honest ending. Clare will not push you either way.

Is this therapy?

No. Clare is a communication tool, not a therapeutic service. It is not designed to treat mental health conditions or work through deep personal trauma. If you need that kind of support, a licensed therapist is the right choice. Clare is most useful when the core issue is the communication between two specific people.


Important limits

What Clare is not for friends

Clare is a communication tool, not a therapeutic service. Understanding its limits helps set the right expectations.

A therapist or counselling service
A judge that will tell you who is right
A group tool for wider friendship conflicts
A substitute for professional help in a crisis

A note on safety: Clare is designed to improve communication, not to replace therapists, counselors, or crisis support. For urgent situations, please seek professional help. Worldwide crisis helplines are available at findahelpline.com. Read our safety guidelines →

Ready to clear the air?

If you want to repair or improve communication with a friend, Clare is a good place to start.